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Life lessons from “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are” by Brene Brown.
- Courage (Cor: The Latin word for the heart) means to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart. Or putting vulnerability in line owning our stories and loving ourselves throughout the process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.
- Owning our story can be hard, but not as nearly as difficult as running away from it. Embracing our vulnerability is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belongings and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Playing down the exciting stuff doesn’t take the pain away when it doesn’t happen. It does, however minimizes the joy when it does happen.
- Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. The dark doesn’t destroy the light, it defines.
- Do things which are relaxing or productive. Nothing else. Ask yourself, is this relaxing or productive?
- Practice courage, compassion and connection because when shame happens, you need them ASAP. Showing up is enough.
- Compassion isn’t a relationship between the healer and wounded. It’s between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion involves learning to relax and allow ourselves to move gently towards what scares us. Do not be immune to criticism. Have some self compassion.
- Our first response to pain – ours or someone else’s – is to self-protect. We protect ourselves by looking for someone or something to blame. Sometimes by turning to judgment or by immediately going to fix it mode. Just listen and have the courage to share some of your own vulnerabilities with them. Be calm which is feeling their feelings without reacting to heightened emotions like fear and anger.
- Setting boundaries and holding people accountable is a lot more work than shaming and blaming. But it’s much more effective. Give and receive help.
- Fitting in and belongings are different. Fitting in is for the people to accept us. Belonging requires us to be who we are. Absence of love and belonging will always lead to suffering. We are enough just as we are and we are worthy of love and belonging.
- Love is a connection which can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them. We can only love others as much as we can love ourselves. We would never consider talking to another person the way we talk to ourselves. Love is an action, not a feeling. Practice love everyday. We must talk about things that get in the way.
- Shame is universal. The less we talk about it, the more control it has over our lives. We have a real fear that we can be buried or defined by an experience that in reality is only a sliver of who we are. Speaking out is a major shame trigger for women. Know your personal symptoms of shame. So we can react to it. Knowing is a gift.
- Authenticity is a practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are. Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.
- Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all connected to each other with a power greater than all of us. It brings purpose and meaning to life. Sharing our gifts and talents with the world is the most powerful connection with god.
- Happiness depends on circumstances. But joy is from within, it fills you with hope, faith and love. Tolerance for disappointment, determination and a belief in self are the heart of hope. Don’t believe that unless blood, sweat and tears were involved, it must not be that important.
- Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Be brave, afraid and very, very alive.
“Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected”
This is one of the best techniques for people who struggle with procrastination. The Five Minute Miracle involves asking yourself; “Hmm, what action can I take in less than five minutes TODAY that moves this forward even the tiniest bit?” Once you’ve identified a small action, set a timer for five minutes and spend five minutes working on the task. Research shows that once you start something, you’re much more likely to finish it.
Kill It With Kindness.
Research shows that the more you can forgive yourself for past procrastination, the more likely you are to overcome your current procrastination and take action. Practice self-compassion when thinking of your past experience procrastinating.
Ask yourself why?
Sometimes, it can be helpful to understand exactly why you’ve been procrastinating a specific task. Are you afraid of something? Maybe you feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. Fill in the sentence; “I’m avoiding this task because…” or “I’m avoiding this task because I’m afraid that….” And see what shows up. Identifying your fears can help you realize the monsters in the closet aren’t as bad as you think.
Work in the right environment.
Even if you do everything else right, working in the wrong environment can make you succumb to procrastination. This means keeping yourself away from television, electronics, friends, and loud places. This isn’t what works for everyone, but you need to exercise discipline by working in the environment that’s right for you.
Take control of your self-talk.
Saying to yourself, “I’m not going to procrastinate. I will not procrastinate,” virtually ensures that you will procrastinate. There’s a classic study where participants were told to not think about a white bear. It turns out it’s nearly impossible to avoid thinking about something that you tell yourself not to, as your mind gravitates towards the thing you’re trying to avoid. The trick is to shift your attention to something completely different (and positive). Instead of telling yourself not to procrastinate, think about what you will do and how great it’s going to feel to have it done. This way, your mind fixates on the action you want to take instead of the behavior you’re trying to avoid.
Use productivity apps
Apps like aCalender for scheduling tasks beforehand, loop habit tracker to make sure that you maintain your everyday essential work, My Effectiveness Pro for time management (Eisenhower’s matrix).
Create something everyday
No matter what it is. Artwork, photos, videos, a journal, some code, anything that gets you into a creative mood and gets you working.
Set “goals” for the day
Procrastinators love planning, quite simply because planning does not involve doing, and doing is the procrastinator’s Kryptonite. At the beginning of each day identify a handful of things that you want to accomplish. Some say three things. It depends on how large the tasks are. Set a limit for yourself and work on each of them until they are done.
you can watch many other YouTube videos or blogs to help you overcome this faster. Please don’t start to procrastinate by watching those videos and reading those blogs for hours on a loop and not working on it
Research has found that it matters greatly to us whether we’re respected by others—even by strangers. Most of us don’t want to look foolish or lazy to other people. So by daring to say “I’ll send you the report by the end of the day” we add social benefits to following through on our promise—which can be just enough to nudge us to bite the bullet.
*Bonus – Making planners can be a form of procrastination as you feel that you have accomplished tasks without actually doing them. So, don’t spend more than 5 minutes on a planner.
INFP, you are kind, loving, gentle, sensitive and all of those sweet things. You are only 2% of the population, but I wish there were so many more of you. I just wish you would learn to love and accept yourself the way you love and accept the rest of us.
So here are some tips which will make your life easier.
- Work on not taking everything so personally.
Sometimes criticism, while hard to hear, is helpful; it’s how we grow. It rarely means anything about who you are as a person. When you feel criticized or hurt, think through what the person meant by it, what their intentions were, whether it’s something to be upset about. Think about whether they might actually have a point, and then use the feedback to make some changes.
- You are incredibly imaginative. Which is a good thing, except when it’s not.
Sometimes you have a tendency to make stories up in your head, so sometimes you maybe don’t ask questions because you’ve already filled in the gaps and written your own version of what the person is telling you. In order to really get close to someone, you need to stop making up stories about them and actually ask/listen instead.
- Being who you are is totally okay.
You may feel like you have no defenses in this cruel, cold world, but don’t hide who you are. You may feel almost like there’s something fundamentally wrong with you; you’re so sensitive and have so many feelings. It can be overwhelming and you may want to hide it, but I would argue that we really need people like you, so let us see you. The world needs people who are soft and tender-hearted and gentle and who accept others in all their quirky ways. Hold that kind of space for people; that’s your gift. I know you aren’t going to be able to let everyone in indiscriminately, but trust that there is value in exposing your truest self to the ones who matter.
- Completely despise being told what to do.
This is honestly their biggest problem. If you tell them to go left, they instantly are tempted to go right. They usually take instruction as a challenge to their freedom, so most INFPs need a workplace that essentially doesn’t tell them what to do, which, unfortunately, doesn’t exist.
- Photoshop your Self-Image.
Self-esteem comes from having a positive self-image. One trick, borrowed from the psychology of stress management, is to use the power of imagination. Picture yourself as the self-assured person you aspire to become. How do you feel when you allow your inner flame to burn so brightly? How do you look, stand, move, talk? How will it affect your work, health, relationships? See these things clearly in your mind’s eye and repeat the exercise whenever you need to fold away those self-doubts and stash them in a padlocked chest.This exercise is good for INFPs because it serves as both an affirmation and an action plan. On the one hand, visualization will help you purify your self-image and give you some additional internal resources to help you cope more effectively. On the other, it shows the gap between where you are now and where you would like to be. The photoshopped visual is the destination, and it will guide you as you take steps along your self-confidence journey.
- When INFPs feel passionate about something, watch out!
INFPs may see themselves as reluctant heroes. One minute they’re strolling through life, the next minute their passion has been awakened because they’ve stumbled across a person who needs their help. With their idealism driving them on, INFPs can be truly unstoppable. That’s why this type has accomplished great things—think Joan of Arc, who, as a teenager with no military training, led the French army to victory over the British during the Hundred Years’ War. Other famous INFPs include Princess Diana, Johnny Depp, Audrey Hepburn, Fred Rogers, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Tori Amos, William Shakespeare, Helen Keller, and Isabel Briggs Myers (creator of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). INFPs are often found helping people who are sick, disabled, or in need. INFPs love rescuing the helpless. On the other hand, if INFPs don’t feel a sense of conviction, they tend to shut themselves off from the world. For INFPs, “when it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. But when it matters…it matters big,”.
- INFPs can grow by having new experiences.
The INFP’s secondary function, Extroverted Intuition, is a learning process that “sees behind the curtain,” so to speak. It perceives patterns in the INFP’s experiences and makes connections that aren’t necessarily obvious or inherent by definition. It asks, “What if?” and sees possibilities. The way INFPs can grow on a personal level is by using this process to explore, make connections, and learn new things. For INFPs, this may mean traveling to new places, taking classes to learn new skills, joining groups or clubs to meet new people, or feeding their appetite for new information by reading or exploring the arts. The more INFPs have new experiences, the more they will add to their deep understanding of emotions and the human condition.
- Try to be a little less reserved.
I don’t mean go against your very nature and force yourself to be an extrovert, which is just stupid. I just mean that maybe next time, when you are deciding whether to talk to a person, talk to them. Next time a teacher asks a question (if you’re still in school), raise your hand. Make a new friend. Step out of your social boundaries just a little and you might find it better and easier than you expected. It could also be a great confidence booster!
- Stop being so hard on yourself
You are never going to be perfect. Perfection isn’t even a thing. You’re going to make mistakes (plenty of them) and accidentally hurt people’s feelings and do the wrong thing and generally make a mess sometimes, and it’s okay. You don’t need to hide in the corner and self-flagellate when you do. You don’t need to spiral into a pit of despair. It is entirely possible – and much healthier – to address whatever happened, apologize or clean it up, and move on. You’re never going to be perfect, but you’re good enough.
- A broken heart at any point in life can make you quite reticent to open back up to anyone (ever again).
Most of you have had your heart broken at least once, and while that’s true of most people, it can be particularly hard on an INFP. But remember that you love connecting. You love being in love. You love deep conversation and intimacy. You love shedding your protective layers and just being yourself in all your tender glory. It just scares the living shit out of you because it requires you to open up more than you feel safe opening up. Vulnerability is absolutely required. Sorry, I know you don’t want to hear it, but you are going to have to take risks. Every.single.time. Love is always a risk. It’s worth it.
Gridline“the rule of thirds”
The guideline proposes that an image should be imagined as divided into nine equal parts by two equally spaced horizontal lines and two equally spaced vertical lines, and that important compositional elements should be placed along these lines or their intersections.
Front lighting de-emphasizes texture; lighting from the side, above, or below emphasizes it. A portraitist may want to keep the light source close to the axis of the lens to suppress skin wrinkles, while a landscapist may want sidelighting to emphasize the texture of rocks, sand, and foliage. Generally, the greater the angle at which the light is positioned to the subject, the more texture is revealed.
Tap for focus
Simply tap on the screen where you want the focus to be. A small square will appear to confirm the focus point. Now take your shot.
This is a technique to use when you want to draw attention to something in your photograph. By framing a scene or a subject, say with a window or an archway, you lead the viewer’s eye to the primary focal point. Photographing through grasses or flowers can often bring more attention to your subject by creating a blurred foreground.
In burst mode several photographs are captured in quick succession by Tapping and holding the shutter button. This is used mainly when the subject is in successive motion.
This mode stitches multiple images from the same camera together to form a single and wide photograph.
Select the panorama mode, press the capture button and then begin panning slowly along the visible horizontal line.
Instead of just taking one photo, HDR uses three photos, taken at different exposures. The result is something that should look more like what your eyes see, rather than what your camera sees.
Use HDR mode while clicking photos of Landscapes, Portraits in Sunlight, Low-Light and Backlit Scenes. And avoid clicking photos with Movement, High-Contrast Scenes, Vivid Colors.
Leading lines technique
Leading lines technique is where the viewer of your photos attention is drawn to lines that lead to the main subject of the image.
Usually they start at the bottom of the frame and guide the eye upwards and inwards, from the foreground of the image to the background, typically leading toward the main subject.
Free apps like PicsArt photo studio, VSCO, Snapseed, etc are one of the best photography apps.
Clean your lens
Quite often a fingerprint or foreign body can affect the lens of camera. So take a microfiber cloth and clean the lens. Use volume down button for capturing, have fun and be safe.