When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or anything, just ask yourself “is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used to do work and out pacing people that way.
Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions. Their opinion will change when you are the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
Characterize yourself as leader, visionary, self confident and willing to take risks.
Fear is at the root of many barriers that women face. Fear of not being liked. Fear of drawing negative attention. Fear of making wrong choices. Fear of overreaching. Fear of being judged, fear of failure. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
Don’t be an imposter with limited skills or abilities. Feel worthy of the recognition. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel as if you are a fraud. Don’t underestimate yourself. Fake it till you make it.
Take the opportunity and make an opportunity fit for you. Women have to keep their hands up.
In order to protect ourselves from being disliked we question our abilities and downplay our achievements, especially in the presence of the others. We put ourselves down before others can.
For a woman to replace me with we (women). Think personally and act communally while negotiating. Smile frequently, express appreciation and concern, invoking common interests, emphasizing larger goals and approach negotiation as solving a problem as opposed top taking a critical stance. Express motion and then quickly move on.
Find your long term dream and an 18 month plan (how can I improve?).
Only 1 criteria matter when picking a job and that is fast growth.
Men apply even if they have 60% of the requirements.
Most of the women suffer from Tiara syndrome, which means that they expect if they keep doing their job well someone will notice them and place a tiara on their head. So advocate for yourself.
The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.
Excel and you will get the mentor.
Any judgement can feel harsh, but the upside of painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance.
Find a partner who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. These men exist.
Done is better than perfect.
Have good amount of sleep.
Avoid unnecessary sacrifices.
The definition of a Feminist – A person who believes in social, political and economic equality of the sexes,
Courage (Cor: The Latin word for the heart) means to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart. Or putting vulnerability in line owning our stories and loving ourselves throughout the process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.
Owning our story can be hard, but not as nearly as difficult as running away from it. Embracing our vulnerability is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belongings and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Playing down the exciting stuff doesn’t take the pain away when it doesn’t happen. It does, however minimizes the joy when it does happen.
Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. The dark doesn’t destroy the light, it defines.
Do things which are relaxing or productive. Nothing else. Ask yourself, is this relaxing or productive?
Practice courage, compassion and connection because when shame happens, you need them ASAP. Showing up is enough.
Compassion isn’t a relationship between the healer and wounded. It’s between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion involves learning to relax and allow ourselves to move gently towards what scares us. Do not be immune to criticism. Have some self compassion.
Our first response to pain – ours or someone else’s – is to self-protect. We protect ourselves by looking for someone or something to blame. Sometimes by turning to judgment or by immediately going to fix it mode. Just listen and have the courage to share some of your own vulnerabilities with them. Be calm which is feeling their feelings without reacting to heightened emotions like fear and anger.
Setting boundaries and holding people accountable is a lot more work than shaming and blaming. But it’s much more effective. Give and receive help.
Fitting in and belongings are different. Fitting in is for the people to accept us. Belonging requires us to be who we are. Absence of love and belonging will always lead to suffering. We are enough just as we are and we are worthy of love and belonging.
Love is a connection which can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them. We can only love others as much as we can love ourselves. We would never consider talking to another person the way we talk to ourselves. Love is an action, not a feeling. Practice love everyday. We must talk about things that get in the way.
Shame is universal. The less we talk about it, the more control it has over our lives. We have a real fear that we can be buried or defined by an experience that in reality is only a sliver of who we are. Speaking out is a major shame trigger for women. Know your personal symptoms of shame. So we can react to it. Knowing is a gift.
Authenticity is a practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are. Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.
Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all connected to each other with a power greater than all of us. It brings purpose and meaning to life. Sharing our gifts and talents with the world is the most powerful connection with god.
Happiness depends on circumstances. But joy is from within, it fills you with hope, faith and love. Tolerance for disappointment, determination and a belief in self are the heart of hope. Don’t believe that unless blood, sweat and tears were involved, it must not be that important.
Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Be brave, afraid and very, very alive.
“Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected”